Ancestor rites in the USA and abroad

Doing the rites outside India

Many Hindu families in the USA, Canada, the UK and elsewhere keep Pitru Paksha and the yearly Shraddha without travelling to a tirtha. The tradition is more about sincerity, remembrance and the correct tithi than about place. Traditions vary; follow your family's custom or your priest's guidance.

Common ways to do the rites outside India:

• At home: Tarpan and a simple Shraddha can be done in a kitchen, a garage, a backyard or on a balcony, using a plate or tray to hold the water, sesame, kusha grass (or a substitute) and food offerings. See the guide on Shraddha in the USA on this site for a practical walk-through.
• At a temple: Many Hindu temples have a priest who can lead the rite with you.
• With a priest at your home: Some priests visit homes in larger cities. Others guide families online while the family does the rite.
• Choosing the tithi: The correct day is set by the Hindu calendar, adjusted for your location and time zone. This website calculates the tithi for your city, so you do not need to convert from India time.

Temples and priests in the USA

Many Hindu temples in the USA, and many independent priests, offer Pitru puja, Tarpan and Shraddha, especially during Pitru Paksha. Services, schedules and fees differ from place to place, and some temples offer them only on certain days or only for members. This page does not recommend a particular temple, because arrangements change and need to be confirmed with each one.

How to go about it:

• Call or write ahead. Ask whether the temple or priest performs Shraddha or Pitru puja, in which tradition (for example Smarta, Vaishnava or Arya Samaj), and in which language.
• Ask what you need to bring. Samagri (samagri = items for puja) is sometimes supplied and sometimes not.
• Agree the scope and the dakshina (dakshina = the priest's offering) before the day.
• Book early for Pitru Paksha, when priests are in high demand.
• Ask your family. Elders and relatives often know a trusted priest in your area.

Water and nature rules

Tarpan involves pouring water, and sometimes offerings of rice, flowers and sesame. Rules in the USA are different from India, and care for the places you use is part of the dharma.

• Rivers, lakes and the ocean: Local laws govern what may be put into natural waters, and most parks and shorelines do not allow dumping of food, flowers, cloth or plastic. Check the rules of the park or beach before you offer anything, and avoid disturbing wildlife or other visitors.
• At home: Pour the Tarpan water into a plant pot, a garden bed or a clean patch of soil, rather than down a drain, when you can. Many families do this, and it matches the spirit of returning water to the earth.
• Food offerings: Food that was offered can be shared with birds where this is allowed, or composted. Avoid feeding wildlife where it is prohibited.
• Lamps, incense and smoke alarms: In apartments, use a small lamp in a safe holder, keep it away from curtains, and ventilate. If incense sets off a smoke alarm, use flowers only. Follow your building's fire rules.
• Scattering ashes: Rules differ by state and country, and for the ocean or protected lands. Check with the local authority and the funeral home before doing so. In the USA, federal rules also apply to scattering cremated remains at sea. Do not assume a sacred river or lake permits it.

Planning a later pilgrimage to India

Many families do the yearly rites at home and plan a pilgrimage to a tirtha, such as Gaya, Prayagraj, Varanasi or Haridwar, when the family is ready, often together with a family trip. There is no single rule about whether this is required; traditions vary, and your priest and elders are the best guide.

• Choose the place with your priest. Gaya is the best-known place for Pind Daan; Sidhpur is traditionally linked with rites for one's mother; Badrinath, Haridwar, Prayagraj, Varanasi and others each have their own role. The pages for each place on this site explain the traditions.
• Choose the season. Weather, monsoon, festival crowds and, for Badrinath, the temple's seasonal opening all matter. The page for each place has details.
• Find a priest through trusted channels. Ask relatives and your family priest, use official temple or tourism channels, and agree on the scope and the dakshina before the rite. Avoid touts.
• Prepare your documents and health. Check your passport, visa or OCI, travel insurance and any vaccinations well in advance. Pilgrim sites can be hot, crowded and physically demanding.
• Prepare the information the priest will ask for: the names of the departed, their relationship to you, and the tithi or approximate date of death.
• Some families ask a priest at a tirtha to perform the rite on their behalf. Whether this satisfies your family's custom is a question for your family and your priest.